Posted on: 11th December 2025

“Happy Christmas!”

I remember hearing those words so many times during the Christmas period of 2018. “Happy Christmas!” Each time they were said, I felt a deep ache in my heart. The world around me – people, shops, radio, TV – were all apparently full of the joys of the season, yet I felt the opposite. Earlier that year my husband had died suddenly. Leaving me and our three children. Christmas was going to be tough. It was going to be more like something we were hoping to survive rather than expecting to enjoy.

Christmas can be difficult for so many reasons.  It’s portrayed as a joyful and magical time, filled with love, family and celebrations. Yet, while the world seems to sparkle with happiness, the reality for some is loneliness, grief or stress. There can be pressure to feel merry, but in reality, not everyone does. For those who are missing loved ones, facing hardship, or carrying emotional pain, the season can magnify those feelings. The contrast between what we see around us and what we feel inside can be difficult. Financial pressures and the weight of expectations – to give, to host, to be joyful – can add even more strain.

As Christians, we are reminded that the true heart of Christmas is not found in perfect circumstances or material abundance – it’s found in the birth of Jesus Christ. Far from the twee nativity plays we see re-enacted every year in schools and churches, cute though they may be, the reality of the birth of Jesus was tough. To start with there was the unexpected, unplanned pregnancy of a teenage Mary. Then nine months later, an arduous ninety mile journey to Bethlehem whilst heavily pregnant, with nowhere to stay when they arrived. And then the birth itself – no hospital or midwife, sanitation or drugs – but the dirtiest of conditions, most probably in a cave, rather than the cosy looking stable depicted on Christmas cards.

Yet, somewhere within this messy, imperfect reality lies the true wonder of Christmas: that hope and love entered the world in the midst of hardship and uncertainty. The nativity story reminds us that God meets us where we are, not where we wish we could be. It is a story for those who feel displaced, anxious, or weary, gently telling us that even in our lowest moments, there is a place for us in the Christmas story—a quiet reassurance that we are seen and not forgotten.

This does not take away our struggles at Christmas, but it gives them meaning. During the Christmas period of 2018, I took comfort in knowing that the message of the manger is that I am never alone. We are never alone. God chose to step into our world that first Christmas, to bring a message of peace where there is turmoil and healing where there is hurt. We may or may not find it difficult to feel cheery, but we can find assurance that Christ’s love is constant, unconditional and present.

My hope and prayer is that however this season finds you, you can find hope in the light of Christ that still shines in the darkest of nights.

At Leeds Sanctuary, we host a Blue Christmas service and share Blue Christmas resources which are aimed at anyone who finds Christmas to be an emotionally complicated season. To access these resources, please visit www.leedssanctuary.org.uk/blue-christmas